Introverted.

The Captain was home sick on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week, and yesterday after three days of having him at home I had a kind of weird meltdown. I wasn’t screamy or angry or even too bitchy; instead I just got kind of withdrawn. I gave up trying to fight with the kids to do homework and just let them run wild in the house while I lay on the couch, dozing in and out a bit, and generally feeling glum.

I thought maybe I was getting sick, but the Captain is back at school today and I’m frolicking around the house like a newborn fawn in Spring.

(Aside: we recently got Bambi from the library as our Family Movie Night film, and I had NO IDEA it was so wonderful. I’d been living in fear of the mother’s-death scene, but it is tastefully done and my kids were well prepared, so it did not overshadow the film at all. Instead, we were all incredibly charmed by the story and the characters and the nature preservation message. Totally still relevant and fresh today. Recommended!)

Anyway, I realized this morning that the problem is that I had been around people too much, for too long. Over March Break I had the kids full time, and also we had several visitors in and out, and by Monday morning I was ready for a little me-time. Having the Captain at home sick was actually very little work – he read quietly on the couch or played video games, only occasionally asking for a drink – but just having someone else in the house was short-circuiting my brain. I couldn’t get a lick of work done – I’d sit at the computer and just stare at it, unable to organize my thoughts or put anything coherent together.

Usually having a kid home doesn’t bother me like this, I can even get work done with the Little Miss playing by herself or colouring at the table in the afternoons. I guess it was the accumulation of March Break plus three more days of the Captain’s constant company that just overloaded the system.

I think being a stay-at-home-mom, now that the Little Miss is gone for a couple of hours each day, is amplifying my introvert tendencies. I’m not really complaining – I love my alone time! – but it’s interesting and helpful just to be aware of these sorts of things about oneself. As it is, I’m like a coffee addict that went through withdrawal, and now has been reunited with her beloved Joe. In fact, I think I’ll make myself a cup right now and curl up with a little work, and a joyful look on my face. Just me.

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9 thoughts on “Introverted.

  1. I treasure my alone time too. Too much being “on” drains me. But unlike you, I don’t go the glum route…I drive straight through to resentful. I’ve actually caught myself being upset with the kids if they’re home sick on a Monday because I won’t have my wonderful empty house to myself after a weekend of togetherness. Gotta work on that…

  2. I so very much understand this. I think of it as social energy. I only have so much and when it has been running full force I desperately need to withdrawl to my own space for a while. Enjoy your wild fawn time and may everyone else stay healthy.

  3. We must all be in the same boat. I look forward to a couple of hours of me-time. I plan to do fancy things like prepare dinner early, or put the laundry away from last week, or purge one of the gazillion boxes downstairs from the reno while catching up on some daytime tv….but instead I sit by the window in front of my computer and putter around in it. I like the silence. I like the aimlessness. I ignore the ‘stuff’ and just ‘be’.

    I get it. We all do. I especially like the description “short circuiting my brain”…HA! So true.

    :)

  4. Oh yeah, me too. But with the baby around all the time and napping poorly, the me time only comes late at night when she’s *finally* asleep. But I know this time is short, and soon she’ll be napping predictably, and I can get some crafty stuff done during the day. But it is HARD. I’m sort of afraid of what’s going to happen when I have *2* talking kids in the house.

  5. I totally ‘get’ this feeling. Am reading a great book about introverts called ‘Quiet’ – it’s been balm to my soul!

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