We are becoming a family of game players, and I just love that, because I adore games. I admit it, I have a reputation as a Super Competitive Type, but I swear, it’s not about the winning – it’s the playing. So I’m super happy the kids are getting into (a few) games and we’re able to play as a family sometimes.
Lately we are obsessed with 7 Wonders, a game that has an impossibly complex set of rules, but once you play it one time you easily get the hang of it. It’s complex enough to be interesting for the adults but fun enough to be interesting to the kids. I recommend it highly (if you’re interested, we got ours at Chapters). It’s listed as being for ages 10 and up, but Gal Smiley at age almost-9 can easily handle it, and even Little Miss Sunshine, who just turned 6, now plays with us – she sometimes needs advice but has won on more than one occasion, which FRUSTRATES ME TO NO END.
Huh, I guess maybe I do deserve that Super Competitive label.
Anyway! My real point here is that when you play 7 Wonders, you have to gather resources in your corner, and one of the cards you can add to your stack represents Glass.
And whenever someone plays the Glass card, I feel compelled to quote Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard. It’s this segment:
Dwayne T. Robinson: I’ve got a hundred people down here, and they’re covered with glass.
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John McClane: Oh, you’re in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn’t look like you’re in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I’m…
John McClane: Asshole? I’m not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!
Sooooo…not so child-friendly. Yet I cannot stop myself. Mostly I come out with, “Glass? Who gives a crap about glass?” – which is more than enough for the kids to be quoting all over the house. Yesterday we got the video out – having failed to check out the exact passage on the internet first – and let the Captain see just this scene, and as you can read above, in just six short lines there are approximately 1000 swear words and inappropriate references. GAH. The next time this video comes out of its case, the kids will have to be at least 30.
Sad to say, this is actually part of an increasing pattern of swearing that has been going on around here. The other day, Sir Monkeypants was putting the Little Miss to bed, and she busted me out with this:
Little Miss (whispering): Mommy said the f-word today.
Sir Monkeypants: Really?
Little Miss: And it wasn’t just once. It was like, “f-word f-word f-word f-word.”
Sir Monkeypants: REALLY?
Guilty as charged, I’m afraid.
So yes, it’s time for a little tidy around here, a little cleaning-out-of-the-mouth-with-soap. With school starting, it seems like the right time to put the sailor mouth on hold, don’t you think? F-word right!