So, just wondering – do you like them? Want to keep them and see more? Or could you take them or leave them? Want me to move them to a separate blog stream?

Let me know!

When I was taking the clean laundry out of the dryer I discovered a shoe had gone through the load.

It was one of Gal Smiley’s crocs. I laughed because it was kind of funny and fitting for my scatterbrained, hurried kind of day. But I figured crocs are fully waterproof and indestructible, so no harm, no foul, right? If anything, she had a nice clean shoe. So I put it back in her cubby with the other one.

Then, later that day…Gal Smiley tried to put her shoes on, and complained that they no longer fit. Turns out this happened:

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WHA???

Did you know that crocs, apparently, shrink when exposed to heat?

Here’s a shot of the underside so you can see that both of these shoes are supposed to be the same size. SUPPOSEBLY, as Joey Tribbiani would say.

The smaller one now is even too small for Little Miss Sunshine, which means the shrunken croc shrunk over two sizes down. That is a LOT of shrinkage. I can’t believe that I have never heard about this danger before.

Poor Gal Smiley is like one of the cranky stepsisters. No matter how she shoves, her foot ain’t getting in there.

So sadly, I think we have no choice but to invest in a new pair, and for me to be a little more careful about what’s getting scooped into the laundry. In the meantime, if anyone has a kid with really, really small feet, I’d be happy to shrink the other one for you and create a matched set.

Edited to add: Apparently this shrinkage thing is a known issue, but some people actually use it to their advantage by purposely heating their crocs, wearing them warm, and letting them shrink up until they are custom moulded to their feet. Who knew?

Anyway.

Here’s what’s going on next weekend, June 2/3. For info on what’s happening this coming weekend, see here.

One of Ottawa’s biggest festivals, the Ottawa International Children’s Festival, starts on May 30 and runs through June 3. There are a ton of plays and performances going on – you can buy tickets for specific shows on their website. But even if you haven’t bought tickets for a sit-down play, you can just wander over to the festival grounds at Lebreton Flats Park and catch lots of fun stuff, like buskers, face painting, story telling, crafts, and bike riding. There’s lots to see and do; it’s well worth checking out.

Also next weekend is one of my all-time favourite Ottawa events – Doors Open. You can get behind-the-scenes access to dozens of city-owned and heritage buildings that are otherwise not open to the public. We’ve been to the city’s traffic control building and its water treatment plant; you can see everything from churches to yacht clubs to radio stations to the Central Archives. COOL. Now, here I have to admit that there’s quite an educational component to Doors Open and my kids are sometimes, shall we say, LESS than appreciative. But I adore this event, and every year my husband limits me to just one location so I spend hours thinking about which special place will win my heart this year. Word to the wise: although the event is on both Saturday and Sunday, many buildings only participate on the Saturday, so check the website carefully for days and times. Oh, and it’s all free.

Also all next weekend: Orleans Festival, featuring bands, carnival rides, artisans, food samples from local restaurants, and free stuff for kids including bouncy castles, crafts, face painting, and OH MY GOD, meet your favourite princess on Saturday! That’s a win right there. The action takes place in and around the Shenkman Arts Centre.

Or, you can spend the weekend at the New Art Festival, which used to be called Art in the Park and will be so to me until the DAY I DIE. I dragged my family to this last year because I am determined to get some real art in here, instead of just posters of Lightning McQueen. However, it was a bit of a bust because it was very hot, there was very little shade, and it’s basically a shopping mall set up in a park and our kids were super bored. There are some spontaneous musical performances, snack locations, and even some cute crafts on sale that our kids could spend their pocket money on. But still, I would recommend this for an older pre-teen or teenage crowd who is interested in shopping. (Stupid children.)

Dear Lord. I’m less than halfway through the list and I’ve already written 1000 words. Time for the speed round!

Saturday: Spend the day learning about bike repair and decorating your bike at Capital Velo Fest, then older kids and families can join in on Tour La Nuit, a car-free bike ride through city streets ($20 for adults for the Tour La Nuit, preregistration requried). If you’re a dad (or mom) who has a motorcycle, you can sign up for The Ride for Dad, a tour through the city to fundraise for prostate cancer; if you don’t have a ride of your own, perhaps your little motorcycle lover would like to just come out and watch. Watson’s Mill in Manotick is open as part of Doors Open, but is also celebrating Dickinson Days with a parade on Friday, and crafts and trade demonstrations throughout the weekend. Lastly, if you have a baby or are expecting one soon, you’ll probably want to check out Infant Information Day, a free event put on by the city featuring a variety of classes, sessions, and company displays at South Fallingbrook Community Centre.

Sunday: Visit the Enchanted Tea Party at the RA Centre – pick any time between 11am to 5pm to start your hour-and-a-half long adventure through several activity stations. The $20 ticket price for kids includes various games, crafts, performances, and a tea party finish; adults cost $10 for just the tea party. All proceeds go to the Children’s Wish Foundation. Or, enter your (slightly) older kids in the Pokemon tournament put on by toy store Toys On Fire – it’s apparently an “officially sanctioned” tournament so I guess if you’re looking to raise a professional Pokemon-er, this is your first step. The entry fee is $5 and there will be prizes (and, presumably, GLORY). Personally, I am super excited about the Classic Auto Show in the Byward Market, because I love old cars and my son does too.

And now I have to go lie down and gather my strength, because heavens, there is a LOT of can’t miss stuff going on out there. Whew!

Now taking bets on how long it takes before I break down and can no longer contain the commentary. MUST. BLOG. ABOUT. DANCE. SHOW.

Why do I even fight it?

Like, the Captain might say, “Remember when the Ottawa Senators were versing the New York Rangers?”

Or Gal Smiley might say, “You know that kid John from school? My soccer team was versing his team on Monday.”

Or Little Miss Sunshine might say, “I want to play that video game where Dora is versing Swiper.”

SO cute. Every time one of the three of them has soccer, we just know it’s going to come up. Sir Monkeypants and I wait on the edge of our seats and as soon as one of them says “We were versing the red team,” we can’t help but giggle a little bit in delight. Unfortunately our big smiles have clued the older kids in to the fact that something here is not right. I think the Captain in particular is in danger of losing this particular tic, which is sad.

Also cute: Little Miss Sunshine calls Firefox “Terry Fox.” She will come over to my computer, which has a Firefox icon in the bottom left, and point to it and say, “Is that your Terry Fox?” Or she’ll see me working on a website and say, “Are you using your Terry Fox?” Or she’ll ask, “Can I play video games on your Terry Fox?” SO CUTE.

And here’s another little peek inside the four-year-old mind: she has somehow blended Little Caesars with Tim Hortons and some book she read that had a character called Tiny Tim, and now when she wants pizza for dinner she asks for “Tiny Tim for dinner.” That one took us a while to figure out. We try to use it with a straight face but rarely pull it off.

It’s almost like we have our own little secret language. I love it!

Next weekend is the Gloucester Fair, one of the bigger fairs in town. Dudes, there will be barrel racing. And bull riding. And monster trucks. How could you possibly resist? An all-day pass is $20, $14 for shrimps under 42 inches.

On Saturday, it’s the Great Glebe Garage Sale, legend in this town for people who want to score deals. A lot of kids enjoy a good garage sale – as long as they have a little pocket money of their own to spend. Be sure to bring plenty of sunscreen and carpool if you can.

Also on Saturday, it’s the Monster Truck Spectactular at Scotiabank Place. I can actually hear this show from my house, and I live halfway across town. It’s a can’t-miss for the vehicle lovers in your house – just make sure to bring earplugs, or better yet, those big headphone-like ear protectors (which actually, are the #1 draw for our own kids – screw the machines, we get to wear ear phones!). Tickets are $22 to $36.

Next weekend is also Ottawa Marathon weekend (didn’t this used to be called the National Capital Race Weekend?). I think it’s too late to register but it is a ton of fun going out to see the racers. Our kids really like watching the marathoners come in to the finish line and there’s also a small area of vendors and food kiosks to check out. You can get info on the best places to watch here.

If you’re into water sports instead, MEC is putting on Paddlefest down at Mooney’s Bay Park. Most events are free, including canoe races, boat exhibits, and on-land paddle training. You can also pay $10 for an on-water clinic.

If you’d prefer something artier, there’s plenty of plays going on next weekend. You can catch Young Frankenstein at Centrepointe (likely for older kids only, thanks to a few slightly raunchy jokes and a ticket price of $90, eep); The King and I at St. Paul’s High School ($25 adults, $15 kids), or see Circle Mirror Transformation at the GCTC as part of their Playtime program (parents watch the play at 3:30 p.m., while kids are supervised for crafts and games, $31.25 per adult ticket).

Lastly, the Cumberland Heritage Village Museum is having its Rural Roots festival next weekend. For museum entry ($18 per family) you can help them plant their gardens, watch demonstrations of heritage farm equipment, and if weather permits, take a ride on a scale model steam train.

Upcoming and requiring tickets:
May 30 to June 3 – Ottawa International Children’s Festival
June 8/9 – Beauty and the Beast at Ron Maslin Playhouse in Kanata

In other news, thanks so much to everyone who expressed concern about me and my shingles (now playing seven days a week, twice on Sundays!). I’m doing absolutely okay. I didn’t realize until I made that post that most people with shingles really suffer. Mine is the most mild case ever – a very small patch that is already halfway to healed. A little Advil and hydrocortizone and I was well able to function normally. (Well, except for the big QUARANTINE sign I had to wear around my neck.)

There’s two facets to her dishonesty. One one hand, she’s doing this weird thing where she denies having said something she JUST said. For example:

Me: Would you like juice or milk?

Her: Juice.

Me: pours juice

Her: I said, I want milk!

Me: No, you said you want juice. Do you want milk?

Her: I said, I want both. makes “Duh” face

The second thing she’s doing these days is inventing fanciful stories about things that never actually happened. Like so:

Her, while riding in the back seat of the car: I just saw the museum!

Me: That does look like the museum, doesn’t it? But really it’s just a school.

Her: I have been to that school before.

Me: I don’t think we have, no.

Her: Yes, once my teacher took us there. It was a field trip and we rode the bus and I sat with Emily and Tamara. And my teacher said, hold on tight over the bumps! And we did and it was SO funny. Then we got to the school and the teacher had brought everyone apples and granola bars! And we had a picnic on the lawn, and then we went in and saw a concert. And Elmo was there!

And so on.

Lately we have begun trying to correct her when she denies having said what she said, Sir Monkeypants and I will gently remind her that it is okay to make a mistake or change her mind, but it is not okay to say you didn’t say something when you definitely said it. So far she is not taking to this kind of correction very well – she gives us her stank face and stands by her story. We are flirting with the idea of upping the ante with a trip to the naughty step. It’s not serious now but we both think it’s important to enforce the idea that she can trust us with the truth.

As for the storytelling, I used to find it amusing but now I am somewhat worried. I think this kind of fanciful dreaming happens sometimes in kids (although our other two were firmly-planted reality-addicted kids who would never, ever have come up with something so ridiculous). I’m trying not to crush her creative spirit. But I do wonder what, exactly, she is telling her teacher at school about me. SHUDDER. So again, I’m starting to think about having some more serious discussions about truthiness.

What do you think – phase she’ll grow out of, or dangerous warning sign of future grifter?

Most kids who get it get one spot; a “bad case” might be five or six spots. The Little Miss had, at one time, more than 50 spots, with new ones cropping up all the time. They spread from her armpit down her arm and side, then onto her stomach and neck, and eventually she had a few on her leg as well before the tide turned. I’m happy to say that the last spot finally, finally broke open and then healed a few weeks ago. We are CONTAGION FREE.

Or, we were.

A few days ago I woke up with a super, SUPER itchy rash on my lower left hand side. I figured, allergic reaction. Or maybe bug bites. But it got itchier and itchier, and eventually started to hurt in a stabbed-by-a-thousand-needles kind of way. Gal Smiley, who was always deeply concerned about catching the molluscum contagiosum (which no one else ever did, by the way), kept asking me if it was contagious, and I kept assuring her it wasn’t.

But it turns out it is shingles.

Which is a manifistation of the chicken pox virus.

Which is contagious to people who have never had chicken pox.

Which includes my entire immediate family, including Sir Monkeypants.

So now I’m walking around with my abdomen swathed in the World’s Biggest Bandage, alternately dying of itching and stabbing pain, and fretting about giving my whole family a horrible disease. Quarantine for Mommy!

A few years ago a friend of ours I’ll call “Glenn” (hi Glenn!) got The Gout. And we all mocked him, because that is an Old Man Disease, and clearly his days of fun in the sun were over, he may as well learn to play bridge and drink tea and move to a retirement home. And now, here I am with the shoe on the other foot (is that a saying? I feel like I messed that one up), as I have The Shingles, which is also an Old Lady Disease.

It’s really amazing how fast your body betrays you once you cross that 40 line. I have to say, now that I’m here I kind of wish it would get it over with and just commit to being actually old. Having to deal with PMS, pimples, 10% unruly grey hairs, and The Shingles all at once seems like Just Too Much. Really, body, we cannot be all ages at once. We CANNOT. Commit!

If you want to know what’s going on THIS weekend, see here.

Also, at the bottom I’m going to list a few things that are upcoming that require ticket buying, so if you are interested, you can snap some up before they sell out.

So, let’s talk Victoria Day Weekend fun!

Friday, May 18 is International Museum Day, but I am disappointed to see that most of Ottawa’s museums aren’t doing anything special. The Museum of Nature has free admission, but only to their permanent exhibits – you’ll still have to pay to see the movies or Whales Tohora. The Art Gallery is having some special tours, events, and draws. School groups can book a tour of the back room archives at the Museum of Science and Tech – for a fee. The Museum of Civilization isn’t doing anything special, but it is the opening day of their new exhibit MAYA, which explores the Mayans and their apparent end-of-the-world prediction for 2012.

Also Friday the 18th is the One World Art Exhibit. It showcases art created by kids in their program over the past six months, and also features slam poetry, dancing, musicians, and other entertainments. They’ll also be doing some performances the following day at the Lowertown Summer Festival, a big party all day long in Jules Morin Park.

Saturday is day one of the annual Sheep Shearing Festival at the Museum of Agriculture. You can see sheep being sheared, watch totally awesome sheepdog agility competition, and of course, visit with new lambs (aw!). You can also make felt, card wool, and make a sheep craft from cotton balls (double aw!). The festival runs all three days of the long weekend, regular museum admission applies.

If you happen to be at the Canada Aviation and Space Museum on Saturday the 19th, there’s a cool magic show on – Sky High Magic, included with admission.

Sunday May 20 is the first Sunday for the Alcatel-Lucent Sunday Bikedays, which in my opinion are one of the things that make summer in Ottawa really, really great. This year there are several different paths and streets that will be closed on Sunday mornings for bikers, skateboarders, and rollerbladers. The traditional family ride is along the Ottawa River Parkway, and if you don’t feel like carting all your bikes in from the burbs, you can just throw the kids’ bikes in the back of the van then rent adult wheels at the Bixi bike rental kiosk at Booth and Vimy.

Fairfields at the Nepean Museum is opening their summer season on May 20 with a traditional Victoria Day Tea, featuring activities for the whole family, for the cost of a nominal donation.

The Ottawa Fat Cats – that’s baseball for y’all who normally only care about hockey – open their season at home on the long weekend, and there are afternoon games at 1:05 p.m. on both Sunday and Monday. Tickets are $12 for adults, $6 for kids, and free for children under 6.

And lastly, if your kids are up for a nap then you might be able to take them out to celebrate the long weekend fireworks. There are fireworks on Sunday night as part of the Tulip Festival, at 9:30 p.m. at Dow’s Lake. Then the official city fireworks are on Monday as part of the Victoria Day Festival, at 10 p.m. in Juliana Park (near Prince of Wales and Preston).

Whew!

Upcoming stuff that requires tickets that you might want to consider:
May 25 – The King and I at St. Paul’s High School
May 25/26 – Young Frankenstein at Centrepointe Theatre
May 26 – Monster Truck Spectatular at Scotiabank Place
May 30-June 3 – many shows and performances at the Ottawa International Children’s Festival