I’ve hit a bit of a blogging wall. I’ve been stuck before, not knowing what to write about, or feeling like my posts are banal and boring. I’ve been too busy to write or too bogged down in other projects to give the ol’ blog much attention. I always seem to get back to it eventually.
But lately I feel like I have lost my voice. I have blogger laryngitis. It’s not that I don’t know what I want to say, it’s also that I don’t know how to say it.
I’ve been doing a writing retreat from Alison Gresik in which you go back over all your creative works and try to spot themes, identify what you like and don’t like, so you can refocus while moving forward. It’s been valuable but my overall reaction has been disappointment. It’s been a long time since I wrote something that I think is really good. Something that is funny or moving or powerful or beautiful.
And worse, when I look back at the things that I do like, I hear the voices of other people in there. My funny posts are copied from her or her or her. My sweet moment posts are copied from her or her or her. My musings on parenthood are stolen from her or her.
I’m not sure which is the real me in all that mash up. Which one is the voice that shines above the rest? What do I want to say, and how do I want to say it?
I don’t know.
I came away from Blissdom feeling as though I needed to refocus my writing and start fresh, but I really feel as lost as I ever have. I also was resolved to move my blog – finally, finally – to its own domain name, but even that is causing me to have an identity crisis. I love the name Turtlehead but it means something different to the rest of the world than it does to me. Should I rename my blog? Should I gather all my creative endeavours together under one “Lynn” style banner? Should I name my brand and develop a mission statement?
My blog has always been for me, a place for me to write. It’s not about selling something or getting somewhere or achieving any particular goals. It’s just meant to be a place for me to dabble in creativity.
But it’s been many, many years now and I’m still just a dabbler. I want to dive in, but I’m not sure I know how to swim.