So, I’ve been sick this week. We made it all through the fall illness-free, and trust me, I was knocking wood and throwing salt and chanting prayers on a continuous basis to keep that going. We even lasted all through the holidays with no one getting sick, for possibly the first time ever, which was so, so amazing.
Then I got cocky and thought we were going to go through the whole winter sick-free, likely due to this miracle drug we had discovered, called vitamin C, perhaps you have heard of it? I thought our rock solid immune systems were ON IT.
So of course, January, and now February, has been one thing after another, and I feel like I should just give up already and buy my own Kleenex factory, because it would be cheaper, SERIOUSLY.
Last week I had a classic cold, along with the Little Miss, and I was just getting over it when, on Saturday, I got a little tickle in my throat, and although that seems like Impossible Karma, it was indeed the dawn of a new illness.
By Sunday my throat felt like a thousand tiny knives, swallowing was impossible, and my tonsils were actually VISIBLE bulging out the sides of my neck, which was pretty horrifying.
I have this thing where I have become really against going to the doctor. It’s partly because getting in to actually SEE the doctor is so hard. You can get an appointment that’s about a week out for important but non-urgent things, like say a funny mole or an ingrown toenail or a lazy eye. You can get an appointment that’s about six months out for things like annual physicals or yearly checkups for the kids.
Anything else, you need to come in during walk-in hours, which are only in the evenings, where you are stuck in a small room for, literally, HOURS, with dozens of other sick people, often waiting with three cranky children, only to see the doctor for five minutes. Walk-in hours have become an avoid-at-all-costs situation for me.
There’s also the fact that, as part of my continuing avoidance of walk-in hours, I’ve learned that 90% of things will Just Go Away. Wait it out! Everything will be just fine! Even things that used to send my mom racing to the doctor for meds, like a fever or an ear infection or a sore throat, are likely to just go away if you give them a good 48 hours of lying around on the couch with a trashy magazine and bag of cookies (mandatory germ treatments, of course).
So my point here is that I tried really, really hard to live with the Throat of Knives for several days, only to finally cave in on Tuesday night and go to the dreaded walk-in hours, where they warned me there was a two hour plus wait, and then I wound up getting in to see a doctor in 20 minutes.
Plus, she said it was strep throat, and gave me this newfangled medicine for it, called antibiotics, perhaps you have heard of it?
And then I went and got said antibiotics, and took said antibiotics, and LO, I WAS BETTER. Like literally, I was sitting on the couch drinking tea, one moment feeling like total crap, then suddenly, my tonsils were a bit smaller and things were a bit less painful and my ear canals drained and I FELT BETTER. I felt like I could win an Olympic medal, solve world hunger, AND catch up on the entire season of Parenthood which is still sitting on my PVR, all in one evening.
I was superwoman!
So the moral of this story is: modern medicine actually works. Who knew?
Postscript: Of course, now Sir Monkeypants is totally in Throat of Knives land, and our Valentine’s Day plans, which we NEVER would have made on any other year, are totally blown. But still! Modern medicine! Superwoman! All is well, people, all is well.